#thestruggleisreal

The title was different before. Before I wrote an entire post about the craziness of the past few weeks. And then it just… disappeared. I was looking at the screen when it happened. And none of the saves were there either… What sorcery is this?!?

 

Alas, it’s gone and this is all we’ve got.

 

The craziness list:

 

  1. First Kundalini class. I still have trouble putting it into words. I wept through the entire session. Breathing is powerful. And the volume of the chanting! Incredible & exhausting. I have read that you exhale toxins, and that makes certain types of breathing especially cleansing. I also know that I looked different after that class. Even  weighed myself, and I was down 5 lbs. I have NO idea if the Kundalini caused the weight loss, but I guarantee it didn’t hurt.

  2. Major plumbing incident that ended with the foyer ceiling being carted off to the garbage. Thanks, Winter.

  3. Heavy increase in course load for school = stress

  4. New responsibilities at work = more stress

  5. I’m pretty sure there were more than five in the last post but the internet and all technology seems to hate me right now so it was all deleted and now I can’t remember all the things I wrote = frustration.

  6. It’s so cold. So so so so so cold.

 

I woke up one morning and realized that the wagon had left me behind. I don't think I fell off... it's more like I was lifted from the wagon in my sleep and placed on the ground. How did I get here?! I had stopped watching what I was eating. I wasn’t getting up on time. I wasn’t sleeping well, taking vitamins or drinking enough water. None of my goals were being met. I had not put myself first. I had put myself last again.

 

So what am I to do?

 

Get up. Brush myself off. Start again.

 

I picked up a new gym schedule - my gym is offering new classes that are only a half hour and are designed for insanely busy people like me. I’ve been drinking more water and herbal teas. I’m making myself stop working and go to bed at a reasonable time.


This time I promise to be more patient with myself. I will check-in with all of you more often, and take more deep breaths. Here we go!